Over 2,575 pumps. 53 full days worth of time. More than 1,279 hours. 14% of her life.

That’s how long I’ve spent pumping for baby girl. I have pumped at home, in a cabin, in hotel rooms, in our RV, at the home of relatives, in the school parking lot, in the parking lot of stores, and on countless roads in two different states. I have sacrificed so much time and energy to make sure that she had breastmilk for the first year of her life.

Now, I’m going to brag here because, without a doubt, pumping for a year has been one of my greatest achievements. For context, let’s flashback a bit…

In 2012, I had my oldest daughter. I was sure that not only was I going to have a natural childbirth, but I was going to breastfeed for a year. Unfortunately, it was one of those moments when you can plan all you want but the universe laughs. I not only ended up with a semi-emergency c-section after 36 hours of labor, but, baby started losing weight rapidly while absolutely gnawing on my breasts. It wasn’t going well. I had to supplement to heal and had an appointment with a lactation consultant. I’d like to think the LC was having a bad day that day as she very bluntly told me that I’m a low producer and that was that. No encouragement to do what I could or alternate solutions offered.

I was devastated and I stopped pumping within her first month of life.

In 2014, I had my second. I was more realistic. While I hoped I’d pump more and I put the baby to the breast more, I was still very low supply. I stopped pumping when she was five months and stopped breastfeeding directly by 3 months.

Now, for this baby, I set my sights higher. I was going to make it a year and she was going to breastfeed too. And I did. For months I pumped 5-6 hours a day. I put her to the breast for what we call “snacks” most days. I pumped in the middle of the night for more than 6 months.

On my best days I could produce about 40% of her milk need. Since I lost my dad, I’ve averaged enough for 1-2 bottles a day. But I freaking did it. And she’s had breastmilk every day of her life. We kept going through loss, travels, parenting 3 other kids, and so much stress.

This wasn’t the journey I dreamed of for my children but I made it work. That’s what feeding your baby is about. While breast may be best, really the most important thing is making sure your baby is fed and your family is happy and healthy. I have a sweet Rollie Pollie baby who is just that.

Next up, I’ll let her breastfeed until she (or my body) decides we’re done. I’ll have more time to spend with my other 3 children. I’ll have more time for homeschooling and house cleaning (oh lord, is my house a mess). I’ll stop toting a pump bag everywhere I go. I won’t have to plan my days around pumps or washing pump parts, now that we’re sticking to snacks.

So, farewell pump. You helped me reach my goal and I thank you for that. Enjoy your retirement. Maybe you’ll get to be a backup pump for a friend of family member. You fed my baby and gave me a whole bunch of pumping knowledge I can share with those who need it. I look forward to the rest. 💚